New Year, New Career

I'm back! (sort of)

Photo by Marek Okon on Unsplash

Aaron Bushnell was raised in a religious cult called Community of Jesus (a group that, not surprisingly, has faced numerous allegations of abuse and mistreatment by former members). Like Bushnell, ex-members of Community of Jesus have expressed being motivated by a desire to defend those who can’t defend themselves. Like Bushnell, ex members of cults are often drawn to the military for this reason. It’s not uncommon for people with cult trauma to transition from one high-control group to another.

But I digress.

In the wake of George Floyd’s murder, Bushnell had grown increasingly disillusioned with his role in the Air Force, citing “flippant attitudes towards violence” within the military as his reason for wanting to quit.

At 25 years old, Bushnell decided to dedicate his life to political activism. Friends described him as thoughtful, deliberate, principled, and kind. Bushnell’s last words were “Free Palestine” as he lit himself on fire in front of the Israeli Embassy on February 25, 2024. He livestreamed the event. He wrote a will. He wanted the world to see it.

The media was quick to attribute his actions to mental illness. Leave it to the media to oversimplify something as complex as self-immolation. As if the line between mental illness and existential despair is clear cut. As if people with mental illness are inherently violent, unpredictable, or incapable of rational thought.

It got me thinking. It’s interesting how the focus was mostly on what Aaron Bushnell did, rather than addressing the systemic issues that might have motivated his actions. And of course, our society will do anything—anything— to avoid uncomfortable conversations that engage the extremes; even if it means invading other countries and obliterating entire civilizations to defend the status quo. Hence why we’re in this mess.

Hey, I’m back. Sort of.

You may have noticed that I’ve been a little quiet around here. I needed to step away from creating content to focus on big changes in my life. Between navigating a breakup, making a career change, finding new hobbies, and figuring out a new side hustle, I haven’t had much time or energy for my work online.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but it’s perfectly fine (and even necessary) to go off the grid for a while, if you need to. Truth be told, we could all use a break from the noise.

On a related note, society continues to be a circus run by tyrants, megalomaniacs, and privileged jerks. At the same time, the sheer scale of human tragedy in Gaza is still overwhelming to wrap our heads around, and we’re still burning through the earth’s resources at an alarming speed.

Social media continues to be a cult factory.

Capitalism continues to be a divisive hellscape.

And if you’re not teetering on the brink of denial, disillusionment, and doom, then you’ve probably landed on a thin line of hope between the lesser of the evils. And then there’s those of us who scroll past or change the channel for one reason or another. Much of that depends on where you sit on the privileged ladder. I don’t say that to be critical or condescending; just being real.

It’s easy to criticize the actions of people like Aaron Bushnell. I certainly did. And while I don’t condone burning your own flesh for a cause, I can also empathize with the devastation of having to contend with the level of human suffering that our government is partially responsible for. For a lot of people, especially young people, extreme political despair is unbearable. Can we really blame them for acting out of desperation? Is there a more palatable way to respond to a man-made humanitarian catastrophe?

On that front, there is a strong and apparent movement at play that is not getting as much attention and airtime as it deserves. It’s the resilience, solidarity and collective action of thousands of ordinary people who continue to show up, who refuse to resign to hopelessness, who make room in their hearts and minds for many griefs, who bear the weight of the world without getting crushed by it, who uphold basic human dignity without giving into cynicism, fetishizing violence, or moralizing hate.

Those are the kinds of people I’ve been listening to and learning from these days. I largely tune out anyone who pushes an ideological perspective over a humanitarian one. I get a visceral reaction toward those whose politics don’t affirm the value of human life. I refuse to align myself with people who need to dehumanize others to stand up to injustice. I believe it’s possible to condemn wrongdoing while acknowledging multiple perspectives and holding space for various forms of suffering. It’s hard, but it’s possible.

Anyway, I plan to keep my newsletter and podcast going but probably not as frequently as I did before. It takes a lot of energy to produce content at the speed that I once was doing; it’s not the most sustainable hobby. I have yet to figure out how to turn this into a viable side hustle in a way that feels fair and authentic to me. But it has become abundantly clear that content creation will never be my main source of income. I don’t know about you, but having to “show up” online when all I want to do is fuck off and chop my wood/carry my water in peace is my personal hell.

It’s also become abundantly clear that arguing with people online and engaging in the fire pit of social media politics is a waste of time. Hence the career change, which I’m excited to share more about when it’s all finalized.

All this to say: I hope you’re taking care of yourself. You're allowed to take a break—from social media, from politics, from people and places that drain your energy and give you nothing back in return. It doesn't make you apathetic, lazy, indifferent, or cruel. It doesn’t take away from the value of the work that you’ve done so far. It doesn’t diminish your inherent worth as a human. There’s nothing wrong with you for wanting to do things you enjoy and that bring you a sense of fulfillment and awe and inspiration and peace. Nobody can predict how much time we have left. We owe it to ourselves to live.

Thanks for sticking around. Till soon. <3