This is how self-help doesn't help you
I appreciate so much you going into the depths of history here - I think it's SO important for us as consumers of ANY kind of online material - or really any material - to take a moment to figure out where what we're looking at comes from - because that context can give us SO much needed information about the relevance and usefulness of something.
I agree with what you say that most self help is rooted in the patriarchy - and really even deeper than that, self help - the unethical, watered down psychology, oversimplified stuff - is all rooted in SHAME.
Making people feel shame for their natural and normal human tendencies, making people feel shame for the 'bad things' they are experiencing, making people feel shame for what they do and don't have - it is this SHAME that actually drives the whole 'self help' wheel at this point. It is also what drives capitalism, and self help has been pretty much fully absorbed into capitalism and thus, they are one and the same thing.
We are constantly manipulated into feeling unworthy, less than, and like our issues are ALL our fault because THIS is what keeps us participating in our toxic systems. It is what keeps us over consuming and producing and not challenging the narratives and systems we have - because we are trained to be so hyper focused on ourselves that we can't do those other things.
It also plays into our childhood desire/understanding. It is playing into that wounded child who believed that their caregivers were God, and that the only reason they didn't provide us with all we needed was because of our behavior. It feeds into the fantasy that we have total control over ourselves and that if we can just 'perfect' ourselves by cultural standards, that this will lead to a perfect life where we get all our needs met.
And this is how this ties into true self love - when you REALLY start to love yourself, you start to figure out who you actually are, and you let go of trying to 'become' what others expect - and THIS helps us get out of that shame loop and INTO real reality. Where we can start to see systems and what we need to do to create a better world.
When we can get out of that SHAME - the shame that runs through EVERY power structure as a way of keeping people stuck - THAT is when we can really start to deconstruct.
I love this, and thank you for recording this. I can't wait to sit down with you and talk about this all more!!